够了

我没有你们想象中坚强。
也没有想象中的开朗。





真的真的真的很累了。
想放弃了。
想离开这一切。
我受够了。




你到底要给我多少的难关呢？
每一年都要给我一个打击吗?

我不要，也不需要你锻炼我要变的更坚强。

也许我做了很多坏事，得罪了很多人，
所以得到了这些报应等等，
我活该。

友情，学业，家庭，爱情，生活，健康没有一样是好的。
根本就是一个失败者。

【我没事】
这谎说多了，骗的了别人，骗不了自己。




讨厌自己。

IMY.

Hmmmmm..

It's been 2 years.. since you left.
I know that  if you have a choice, you would not.
but, somehow,
things will not always go our way, right? 

I wonder how are you doing now.

FOR ME,
I'd been doing great :)
Surgery sucks, but I can feel you're there to protect me :)
Life had been somewhat complicated but no worries,

I'M HAPPY! :) 

But.... 

Do you know every time I saw fruits I will think of you?
How funny is that when things are so easy to get,
you take it for granted. 

I did. 

Now, whenever I have to buy my own fruits, I just feel like crying.

You used to cut fruits for me & I'll be like.
I. DON'T. WANT.

I want it now. Can I? 

Guess not. 







Dad, I miss you.

I miss the footsteps I always hear whenever you climb the stairs.
I miss the way you call me whenever you reach home.
I miss the half boiled eggs you crack for me.
I miss the tea you make.
I miss the french toast you make.
I miss everything about you.

Can you come back, please? ): 

I failed.... but it's alright :)

Title says it all.

Thanks chibird for always cheering me up! :)

xx.

Mizon Multi Function Formula Snail Recovery Gel Cream

Look what came in the mail today! :)

YAYERS.

NEW THING FOR ME TO TRY OUT!
& I am really a sucker for nice packaging!
How can you resist PINK! 


hmmmmm..
please please please bring my pimples away already! ):

If is good, maybe I will make a review out of it? hehe.

Life experience: Surgery!

So a little update on my life is that recently I undergo a surgery on my womb (lol what the hell right)

This is what happened. 

10/7/2013 Wednesday 

Woke up early in the morning because I have duty for my business club in uni.
Saw brother sitting in the living room getting ready for work.
Sudden excitement and shouted OHAIYO! super loud.
Acute pain.
Gastric. (or that's what I thought)
Rest for awhile and okay liao wor!

So continue to prepare myself for my duty.
Fast forward to finish my duty..
Drank 'DELITE' orange juice.
GASTRIC CAME BACK!
x100000000 more pain!! T.T

Thanks my friend, Shiat Hui for sending me home :)

Reached home.
Sleep til around 1030pm.
Complaint to my mum that this pain ain't ordinary.
Request to go to clinic.
Mom said most of the clinic closed dy.
She asked me to tahan for awhile and see.
okayface.jpg

around a few mins later,
i ran to the toilet as i felt like diarrhea?
reached toilet and my head was spinning~
sat on the toilet bowl.
& i had the cold-sweat-sensation which i am super afraid of.
(usually when i have my period pain i get this and is damn scary cause my period pains are -.- tothemax)
thinking: omg cannot i cannot sit here i will die here.
shouted to alert my mom.
no response.
stood up.

FAINTED.

& THE TOILET'S FLOOR IS WET!! OMG. 


fainted on the floor for a couple of mins? (i guess?)
sub-consciously know that,
omg I cannot die here!! I have to do something!!

I CRAWL OUT TO THE KITCHEN
& luckily my mom noticed and rushed to the hospital. 

so when I reached the hospital,
still thinking I have gastric was shocked (!!!) when the doctor told me that I need admission.

I AM LIKE :

WHAT?!

firstly they suspected me pregnant =.= (ikr lol)
WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE.

then they suspected either is appendix or there is some ruptured thingy in my abdominal/womb area.

AND I TELL U!!
whoever that say the dripping water thingy doesn't hurt are big fat liars.
BECAUSE IT DOES T.T

very pain leh T.T 

then called my friend, whatsapp my friend and cry because ...
I am seriously very scared wts -.-

blah blah,
my gynae came he say he suspect a ruptured ovarian cyst.
so I undergone the ultrasound thing!
woohoo! #experience hahahah
so they (including me) saw an image of how my womb looks like hahahah!

and they found a 5cm cyst -.- gg.com

I even asked the doctor whether is cancer & thank GOD he said is not!

THANK YOU THANK YOU!

BUT. I need surgery =.= 

that moment, the only thing that is on my mind is that,
AM I GOING TO DIE? = FEAR. 

tears kept rolling down when my friends called.

so I was pushed to the operation theater and it was like what we saw in the movies/dramas.
but is much brighter and less creepier la hahaha.

OH! THE ANESTHESIA THINGY ROCKS! 
I SWEAR.
I only took two mouth of it and I completely doze off.
NO DREAM NO FEELINGS.

BUT. Had to pay the price when I wake up.

MY PAIN WAS LIKE @#$%^&*()(@#$%^&*(#$% when I woke up.
took 2 doze of morphine to kill the pain.
straight away tell my mum I love her cause I seriously thought I was going to die.
SERIOUSLY SCARED OK? T.T

then I only remember waking up in the ward.
Look to the side.
Saw my mum sleeping on the chair.
OK. very emotional me teared again.

BEST PERSON ON EARTH: MOM!!! 


&&,

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CAME AND VISIT ME!
BANANA, CHICKEN ESSENCE, PAPAYA and most important,

PRESENCE. 

post-op was a bit pain in the ass but everything is fine.
no complications so far.

AND I AM GOING BACK TO UNIVERSITY TMR!!
triple the happiness is because is only 2-3 weeks away from my operation
and my doctor originally said I have to stay at home for AT LEAST. 

6 WEEEEEEEEEEKS!! 

I KNOW RIGHT!!!
WHAT THE!!!

CONFIRM GET DEPRESSION LIAO LA.

but neverminds, I AM GOING BACK TMR LALALA :DD

and here is a picture of me in the ward -.- LOL #FUGLY!! but GRATEFUL!!

:) blessed.