I had written this post since 2011 but I did not posted it up,
because,
this is the most painful memories that I had, so far.
But, after reading it back,
I felt that,
I should share it.
People nowadays just tend to take things for grated.
Especially taking love from their parents for granted.
So hopefully my story will inspire you to love your parents more.
Is a very long post anyway hahaha.
this is what I had wrote on 11/9/2011
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Its been quite awhile since the last post.
This may make me sound like some super nerd,
but yeah,
im busy with college, exams, travelling to hospital.
Dad had been in the hospital for 10days.
He met with an accident near slim river.
From what I know,
his lorry nearly bang another lorry cause the lorry was overtaking him,
so to avoid that lorry, he turned instantly,
and bang-ed the lamp post with concrete below =.=
It was around 12.30p.m.
and I was still sleeping.
Mum woke me up and gave me a heart-attack by delivering me this news.
Trust me,
that time the only thing I was thinking is,
WHAT. THE. HELL.
Mum rushed home and we rushed to Slim River's hospital.
For the whole journey,
The car was just plain silence.
Reached the hospital and found out that daddy broke his 2 legs,
BUT. thank god he is still alive & conscious.
Transferred him to Sg Buloh's hospital because,
honestly,
I have no confidence on leaving daddy here in Slim River.
Adding the fact that Sg Buloh is nearer to Slim River and our home.
So, me mummy and gorgor had been travelling up and down to visit daddy.
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Day 1 (2/9/2011 - Friday )
He was still conscious.
Can still response to us.
He even JOKED!
Around midnight, since we must leave the hospital, the only thing i know about that day is he is having operations for his both legs.
Day 2 (3/9/2011 - Saturday )
Daddy was admitted to ICU ):
Doctor said that he had lungs confusion which is causing him difficulties to breathe.
Was semi-conscious during this time.
Didn't response to me but his eyes are still open.
Kept pulling off his oxygen mask!
Mummy told me because he was uncomfortable.
Dad's side relatives came to our house all the way from Ipoh to visit daddy.
Day 3 ( 4/9/2011 - Sunday )
Uncle Michael and Aunty I-Ling came to visit daddy.
Same, daddy's eyes are open but he just dont response to US!
ps. Can hardly breathe in the ICU's room =.=
Day 4 (5/9/2011 - Monday )
I had to attend my psycho movie review task hence, didn't visit daddy.
GUILTY DIE ME.
According to mummy, daddy is stable already.
Transferring to high dependency ward.
Day 5 (6/9/2011- Tuesday )
Was in college & mummy gave me another heart-attack!
She sent me a sms telling that daddy is not responding to people.
WHAT THE EFF.
Rushed to the hospital and found out that daddy is re-admitted to ICU.
Nurse told us that maybe his legs were infected, and the bacteria might be the cause.
He had another operation about his legs to cut away dead tissue cells and "wash" up.
Day 6 (7/9/2011 - Wednesday )
Daddy is still sleeping.
Mummy asked us to call him and wake him up.
I am worried.
Day 7 (8/9/2011 - Thursday )
Daddy is still sleeping.
Same, been shaking him and asking him to wake up.
Why isn't he responding? ):
Can you wake up? )):
Mummy took a day off since she is very tired.
Traveled to Slim River to make a police report
Settle some stuffs with the workshop people.
Daddy had another operation where there was this tube which direct air straight to the trachea.
something like this
Heart shattered.
Day 8 (9/9/2011 - Friday )
Daddy is still sleeping.
As usual,
shaking,
hitting,
yelling and asking him to wake up.
Me and gorgor "took" a mask without asking.
Gorgor was coughing so he needs a mask.
But for me, I used it to cover my face because i was crying ):
Day 9 (10/9/2011 - Saturday )
Daddy is still sleeping.
He is having fever.
Blood pressure was low.
The nurse told us that they gave him "ubat tidur" to let him rest
Day 10 (11/9/2011 - Sunday)
Heading out to visit daddy now. *fingers crossed!*
- this is where i blogged until during that time -
After that, I was so busy with my studies & etc,
I typed in my phone's note pad.
Day 10 & 11 is pretty much similar.
He is still sleeping.
And as usual, calling him to wake up but he didn't.
So, jump to..
Day 12 (12/9/2011 - Tuesday)
Doctor told mummy that there is an important decision to discuss about daddy.
He ask me and gorgor to be there as well.
After class, all of us rushed down to Sg. Buloh to meet the doctor.
But.
Wtf.
The doctor is having a meeting and he said he will see us tmr.
INSTANT DAFUQ -,-
BTW, daddy had been transferred to normal ward :)
There is this thing on daddy, I called it the breathing machine.
It makes really really really very scary sounds.
imagine it like, asthma attack x10000 times scarier.
I will never forget that sound.
Still,
he is not responding to us.
But we are still glad that he is not in the ICU anymore.
We all had that slight hope that he is getting better.
ps. nurses there are very ignorant *dislikes*
Day 13 (13/9/2011 - Wednesday)
Finally.
Met the doctor & our heart
sank.
He told us to expect the worst.
Our daddy will never be the same anymore.
I really don't know what to say.
Most of daddy's family members & friends came over.
At that moment, all I can do is hold daddy's hand.
Tears just can't stop falling.
Mummy kept saying, "起来啦，吓坏小孩了啦”
当下，我的心很无助，很害怕，很懊悔。
I'm such a useless daughter.
Always talking to him in a very demanding tone.
Seldom greet him.
When he hug me I will ask him to go away la.
Complaining food that he 'dapao-ed' for me.
We don't have a single picture together.
etc etc etc etc.
I took him for granted.
& the day before he went into the accident,
we had a fight & I was in a party whole day......
Mummy stayed over to take care daddy that day.
She insist me and gorgor to go home and have some rest.
btw, today is my Chinese birthday.
Day 14 (14/9/2011 - Thursday)
3.30a.m.
Mummy called.
Daddy is gone.
He left us.
He left me.
All I can do is cry and cry and cry and cry..
Informed gorgor & we drove to the hospital.
The road is so empty, so empty.
Reached the hospital & saw daddy's body.
Hug him willingly, for the first time, but, its too late.
Everything is too late.
I haven't even reach my 18th birthday! is just 2 weeks away ):
I haven't graduate from pre-u.
gorgor haven't finish his degree.
I haven't say I love you to him.
I didn't even have to chance to take care him..
There are just too many stuffs that I could have done.
Everything just happened too fast.
Too damn fast.
First time went into 'bilik mayat'
Is so cold there.
So cold.
Rushed home to prepare for the funeral.
Not going to share what happened in the funeral for this post.
So, people, love while you still have the chance.
Life is precious & appreciate every second of it.
Don't waste your time regretting things.
Grab your chance.
Don't worry on whether you will fail or succeed.
Because, as long you tried,
you will always gain
something.
I love you daddy.
I hope you're happy up there with all the angels & God.
Love,
Your lil daughter.
